ben odom

all this week has been hell. i cant remember the last time i was really happy. i b.hill today i got so depressed. that whole self-esteem test really depressed me, i scored a 5.6. Really good right, wrong, i thought i was more secure with myself. i guess i'm not. and i dont suppose that thats a bad thing that its low it just kinda frustrated me. after that i started thinking that maybe i'm not as good as a person as i thought i was. but mabey not. maybe i am i just dont see it. and i dont think that i'm sad that i have possobly heat people while i was being me. and i dont want that. so from here on out i'm going to try to be a better peron. and if you see my doing some unfair, cruel,or anything like that stop me.
i wont to be more like this:
someone that:
everyone respects
likes
turns to for help
laughs at them selfs
SOMEONE THAT LETS PEOPLE ROLL THING OF THERE BACKS

also i wont to change:
the way i talk to and treat people
criticizes people
hurt people
THE WAY I ANNOY PEOPLE
" "
" "
" "
" "
the way i complain
the way i get hurt

IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOGGESTIONS JUST LET ME KNOW
ANY WAY
i'm none with the pity party
no more for me
lots of love
bye
(if i have hurt you lately i apogees, just let me know if you wont to talk)

Current Mood: in my self

I WANT SCHOOL TO BE OUT FOR SPRING BREAK
SCHOOL IS CRAZY
I WISH I WAS HOME NO I WANT TO BE ON THE BEACH
i cant wait to be on the beach with my toes in the sand and the wind on my face
but i'm not i'm at school
which is actually really cool but i really want a break from everything
i dont want to have to worry about anything
b.hill
my mom or friends
i just want to pause the world for a while
but any way new topic
its st. patties day
yea
love it love it love it
i really need one of those shirts that say "kiss me i'm irish" but such a cliche you know
well anyway
happy st. patties day
lots of love
bye

Current Mood: that i'm not out of school

I WANT SCHOOL TO BE OUT FOR SPRING BREAK
SCHOOL IS CRAZY
I WISH I WAS HOME NO I WANT TO BE ON THE BEACH
i cant wait to be on the beach with my toes in the sand and the wind on my face
but i'm not i'm at school
which is actually really cool but i really want a break from everything
i dont want to have to worry about anything
b.hill
my mom or friends
i just want to pause the world for a while
but any way new topic
its st. patties day
yea
love it love it love it
i really need one of those shirts that say "kiss me i'm irish" but such a cliche you know
well anyway
happy st. patties day
lots of love
bye

Current Mood: that i'm not out of school

hey
wuz up
how have yall been
i know i havnt like updated in a long time but what happened was:
i lost(forgot my password
anyway i'm back
so gess what
nothig has happend since i talked to you guys last
Oh
i'm going to the beach over spring break
i cant wait
Destine to be exact
but i wont to meet a fine looking man wile i'm down there
i know what yall are thinking but
i'm really not obsessed
i just am codependent
also i may go see my dad then to
that would be great
i havent seem him since like november
but
anyway
school is good i passed all my classes
like i was but i did cut it short
mrs g wasn't as good i thought i would be
anyway
in theater we got this 3 camera set donated to us and i'm in a scene with Elizabeth Ann
(Elizabeth Ann- i know that i can be a pain and that i make cracks at you but i really do love you)(that goes for everyone)
so theres not much else to say
but
lots of love
bye

Current Mood: crazy

hey
sorry i havent updated in a long time
i dont have a computer at home so over the holiday i couldnt
well over the holiday i did a ton

LIE

i did nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

but i did get alot of really cool stuff: i got

1. a new house
2. i got a new bedspread
3. new home theater system
4. some movies and cd's
5. and last but not least clothes

but what really was great was that i went to mcdonalds and the guy that took my order was so amazingly beautiful
well to make a short storry short, he flirted with me and i flirted with him but i couldnt get his number because my mom was right next to me the whole time
anyway i now know ware he works so i can go back

but Yah school is back
and i am back and better then ever
but i'm not to crazy about this home work or test or project or anything that has to do with grades
so basicly i want a school with the friends but not with the grades

today i did the most horribly thing and im really sorry about it
alison if your reading this i'm sorry
well today alison got 1 of  her birthday presents from E.A. and all of us were going to play a joke on her and sorta kinda mess up her present 
but now i feel really bad and i wont do apologize to alison
sorry

well i should probably get back to class
g2g
bye 

Current Mood: cheerful

I JUST FAILED AN EXAMS
I DIDNT ANSWER HALF THE QUESTIONS

ok
so yesterday started exams
i had math and the i had a free period
math was amazing
i got like a 80 something
anyway
my free period
well i had the "great" idea to piers my ear
well i did it and got a peace of silver to put in it
and it i thought it wasnt noticeable
b/c if my mom found it she would flip right
oh also thanks emily w. for helping me
well my mom comes and picks me up
she doesnt notice it
we go to our new house and start working on it
this was about 1
then we start to paint her room and all the sudden she says to me comehear
reall nice like so i thought she needed some help with something
hen she reaches for my ear and i step back and say what
you have something on your ear are touches the peace of silver
then she gives me this really weired look and i say what is it
as if i didnt know what it was
well then i go to the bathroom
and tack the peace of silver out and start working again like nothing ever happened
what was it she asks and i say a clip on ear ring
she looks at me and says yeah really
and keeps working
we work the rest of the day normally
but when we get home she sites me down and starts lecturing me about how i know that she doesnt like piersing and how did i do it and when
stuff like that
but the scary thing is that she never yelled
its like she was proud that i did it but didnt what me to have my ear pierced
well it grew back and all i can shay is that i'm glad i did it

Current Mood: confused

Ok
i'm having the day from hell
ok so everything was fine up until i went to lunch
all through lunch i was fine
except i was fucking cold because i left my jacket in my locker and was to lazzy to go get it
anyway i had just started to talk to brandy and all the sudden ike and davey throw my down in the mud i sit there for about two seconds, stand up and walk to the bathroom to inspect the damage
i get there and i look like shit, i smell like shit, and i look like i shit my pant
i go and tell ike if he ever throws me anywhere ever again i will do...........something
then i walk my wet ass outside and tell davey the same
so now until i have to spend the rest of the day wet, cold, and looking like shit
lots of love
bye

Current Mood: bitchy

hey
yeah this is my first live journal. love it love it love it.
any way
ok so at the day befor yesterday was adithions for the play perly victorious. i wasnt expecting to adition for a role because there werent many roles to go after in the first place. and i didnt know if it was the wright kind of play for me to do. so i'm sitting in the dressing rooms talking to jessica, andrea, debi, merisa, and jully and durel come nocks on the door and ses ben your adition is in five minutes i run out of the room and try to fine someone with the scrips of the senes that were doing. i fide 4 sence to go ove in five minutes. well i'm franticly trying to internalize all the info. well durel comes into the theater, were all the aditioness were sitting, and ses joes and my name. so i get the the sudio thinking i'm going to do one of the scenes that i went over. but oh no there was a fith scene the director wonted us to do. needles to say i suct ass. and yesterday were call backs. i'm kinda glad i didnt get a call back. i really wont to do light or hair and makup. i probably will do lights. any way exams are comeing up and odly enuff i'm not woried.
strang isnt it
class is about to start
got to go
lots of love
bye

Current Mood: amused